Yesterday, I posted my interview with Katherine Harmon Courage, Scientific American editor and author of OCTOPUS! The Most Mysterious Creature In the Sea. I was delighted that she was willing to answer my absurd cephalopod/veep related questions. So I was even more stoked to learn that she wanted to interview me about Veeptopus. The interview, entitled WHEN CEPHALOPODS AND VICE PRESIDENTS COLLIDE: AN INTERVIEW WITH VEEPTOPUS CREATOR JONATHAN CROW, went up on her site this morning. I talk about my youthful dalliance with the Meese Beast. Give it a read.
Vice President Charles Fairbanks.
Katherine Harmon Courage, Octopus Expert, Interviews Me About Veeptopus
Author Katherine Harmon Courage
Happy Cephalopod Awareness Day: An Interview with Octopus Expert Katherine Harmon Courage
Happy Cephalopod Awareness Day. That day that we are supposed to spare a moment to our eight to twelve-legged underwater brethren.
Now I’m a history nerd. Going into this project, I didn’t really know anything about octopuses. They have eight legs and they taste pretty good sautéed in butter, garlic and white wine – that was about the extent of my knowledge. So when I started this whole project, I didn’t give the octopuses much thought. They were basically tentacley punch lines.
But something happens to you when you draw an animal over a hundred times -- as I did with the octopus. You get curious. So I was tickled pink that Katherine Harmon Courage -- a contributing editor to Scientific American and author of the book Octopus! The Most Mysterious Creatures of the Sea was willing to fill in some gaps in my ignorance and answer a few of my increasingly silly questions about the world’s smartest invertebrates. Since my interview, by the way, I read her book. It's informative and a lot of fun to read. Go buy multiple copies. And while you're at it, be sure to check out the Veeptopus store on Etsy.
Q: What is the allure of octopuses? People, I'm discovering, are really into them, much more than VPs. In traditional art and literature, did the octopus have specific meanings?
KHC: Yes, people are obsessed with the octopus. And I think for good reason. They're just so bizarre. They have evolved to have these eight flexible arms with hundreds of suckers. Most of their nerves are in their arms, but they can solve mazes and even seem to want to communicate with us humans. As one scholar put it, if you're looking to study alien intelligence, you really don't have to look much further than the octopus. Also, they can kill sharks.
But you wanted to know about traditional meanings, too. A lot of cultures had different associations for the octopus that we still know about today. In Hawaiian mythology, the octopus is the only survivor of an earlier iteration of the earth. There is also a legend from the Gilbert Islands that the octopus god is responsible for pushing up the islands from the sea. Of course there are plenty more modern stories about evil giant octopuses or kraken smashing boats or eating sailors. But I also got to visit the town of Tellaro in my research and learn about the local myth there, in which a giant octopus actually saved the town by warning villagers about an impending invasion. Our ancient Greek friend Aristotle, however, called the octopus "a stupid creature." So it looks like opinions were quite varied.
And I don't know if you're giving vice presidents enough credit. I often find them to be, if not creepy, at least a little bit mysterious.
Q: Have you in your research ever come across any connection with cephalopods and leaders of any stripe coming into contact with each other?
KHC: I'm eagerly awaiting photos of Putin battling a giant octopus. But I haven't learned of any. There's always a chance Van Buren had a brush with a nautilus, I suppose. If you want to broaden that to leading actors, I did come across a story about Mark Wahlberg's son having a too-close encounter with an octopus (in which Wahlberg threatens to kill the "calamari" that has latched onto his son's arm.
Vice President Charles G. Dawes
Q: One thing I tried to do with Veeptopus is come up with facts and stories about vice presidents to make them seem more human and interesting. Along the way, I learned some really surprising facts (Charles Dawes, VP to Coolidge, won a Nobel Peace Prize and he wrote a number one pop hit. Who knew?). Did you come across facts about your subject that shocked and surprised you? Any favorites?
KHC: All of them. I knew very little about the octopus going into writing this book (except that they could use tools). I haven't heard of any getting awarded Nobel Peace Prizes (or doing more for the music industry than inspiring a pop song--which perhaps the Nobel committee will someday consider). But I was amazed to find out that they can change color, texture and brightness, that they can taste with their suckers, that they can regrow whole arms, that the males sometimes donate an arm to females in the name of love, and that they are incredibly smart but entirely antisocial (to the point of being cannibalistic). Maybe it's the same for vice presidents, but I found the more I learned about the octopus, the more fascinating it became.
Q: You have a favorite cephalopod?
KHC: The octopus, of course! Although I think the cuttlefish often gets overlooked.
Q: Would an octopus hat be just icky and uncomfortable or would it be potentially lethal?
KHC: That would have to depend on the octopus. A chill deep-sea octopus might not be so bad on the head. But a big ol' giant Pacific octopus could be a pretty unwieldy headpiece. I also don't think I would want a feisty mimic octopus (unless it was pretending to be a hat). But I would stay far away from a tiny blue ringed octopus--even if just worn as a fascinator. They might look flashy, but they have a deadly venomous bite. You could also ask Fiona Apple.
Vice President Thomas R. Marshall
Q: Who is your favorite vice president?
KHC: Favorite VP? It is difficult to choose based not on impressiveness of facial hair styling or height of shirt collars--or accomplishments after leaving the office of VP (hello there, Teddy Roosevelt). After a very small amount of research, I do appreciate Thomas Marshall's sense of humor (even if Woodrow Wilson did not). But I suppose I will cast my vote for Garrett Hobart. Not only is he one of those names lost to popular history--and the owner of a terrific mustache--but he also, it seems, helped to shape the role of the vice president as we know it today, asserting himself as a true presidential advisor, or as he was known, the "assistant president." If it weren't for him, perhaps vice presidents would never have seemed important enough to even receive octopus hats. And that would be a tragedy.
Q: Who would you rather face off against in a dark alley -- Dick Cheney or a Dick Cheney-sized octopus?
KHC: Is the Dick Cheney-sized octopus armed with a hunting rifle?
Vice President Dick Cheney
President William Taft is Sick of this Shit
President William Taft has officially had it up to here with all you haters and he's sick of this shit.
President William Taft Riding a Badger
Yes. It's President Taft on a badger.
My Twitter Exchange with Richard M. Nixon
So apparently, Richard M. Nixon has a surprisingly active twitter account. I decided to forward him my portrait of him. This was his response.
@dick_nixon Dear Sir. Here is a portrait of you with an octopus on your head. Please enjoy. http://t.co/XU4PJnzXA0 #veeptopus
— jonccrow (@jonccrow) September 27, 2014Jesus. @leclzeppelin @KStreetHipster @cindynorth1 @Elizabeth_Calo @preraphaelitte https://t.co/CdqqDs1S9Q
— Richard M. Nixon (@dick_nixon) September 27, 2014The drug culture, sir. We saw it coming. MT @dick_nixon: Jesus. @leclzeppelin @KStreetHipster @cindynorth1 https://t.co/3bL4V3ISg8
— Tom Nichols (@TheWarRoom_Tom) September 27, 2014For the record, my drug of choice is the same as Nixon's -- whiskey.
The Veeptopus Store: You Want Veeps? We Got Veeps.
That's right. After posting one vice president every weekday, I finally reached Biden last week. And this past weekend, I got all the drawings up on the Veeptopus Etsy site. So if you're dying to decorate your abode with prints of a cephalopod-bedecked Walter Mondale, now is your chance.
47. Joe Biden: Vice Presidents with Octopuses on Their Heads
47. Joe Biden
President: Barak Obama, 2009-2017
Party: Democrat
State: Delaware
Joe Biden grew up with a pronounced stutter. The famously talkative veep was only able to fully overcome it when he was in law school.
46. Dick Cheney: Vice Presidents with Octopuses on Their Heads
46. Dick Cheney
President: George W. Bush, 2001-2009
Party: Republican
State: Wyoming
Shot 78 year-old man in the face. The man, Texas lawyer Harry Whittington, later apologized for inconveniencing the Vice President.
45. Al Gore: Vice Presidents with Octopuses on Their Heads
45. Al Gore
President: Bill Clinton, 1993-2001
Party: Democrat
State: Tennessee
Al Gore won a Grammy, an Oscar and a Nobel Peace Prize. He also won the popular vote in the 2000 Presidential Election, but he didn’t actually win the presidency. Long story.
John C. Breckinridge and International Talk Like A Pirate Day
I am really excited to learn this morning that Veeptopus has been named as one of the Five Things You Had to See Online This Week by Studio 360. You can read the article here.
But what I really want to talk about is pirates. Today September 19, has been dubbed by some august and serious-mind body International Talk Like a Pirate Day. So arrrrgh! And there was at least one vice president out there who had first hand experience with pirates - John C. Breckinridge.
Breckinridge is America’s youngest ever vice president under James Buchanan, who largely ignored him. When Lincoln was elected, Breckinridge returned to being a senator for Kentucky until 1861 when he jumped ship for the Confederacy. The U.S. government was not happy about his decision. The U.S. Senate cast him out by a vote of 36-0 and charged him with treason. Breckinridge was made a Brigadier General for the South, and after distinguishing himself in battles like Shiloh and Chattanooga, he was eventually appointed the Secretary of War. So when General Lee’s army surrendered in 1865, he knew he had to get out of town or face his treason charges.
Breckinridge fled through the malarial, alligator-infested swamps of Florida, hi-jacked a sailing ship (which is a pretty piratey thing to do) and made for Cuba. Along the way, he not only fought off an honest-to-God pirate attack, but he also survived two tropical storms and came close to starving before eventually making it to shore. From there he traveled to England. In 1868, President Andrew Johnson pardoned Breckinridge and all other Confederates.
You can check out a print of Breckinridge and many others over at the Veeptopus Etsy Store.
44. Dan Quayle: Vice Presidents with Octopuses on Their Heads
44. Dan Quayle
President: George H.W. Bush, 1989-1993
Party: Republican
State: Indiana
Dan Quayle is perhaps best remembered for picking a fight with Murphy Brown, a ficitious character, and for inadvertently teaching America that the word “potato” is not spelled with an “e.”
43. George H. W. Bush: Vice Presidents with Octopuses on Their Heads
43. George H.W. Bush
President: Ronald Reagan, 1981-1989
Party: Republican
State: Texas
During his 1988 presidential campaign, George H. W. Bush revealed that he had a closer relationship with his boss that previously suspected. “For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan,” he told reporters. “We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex...uh...setbacks.”
42. Walter Mondale: Vice Presidents with Octopuses on Their Heads
42. Walter F. Mondale
President: Jimmy Carter, 1977-1981
Party: Democrat
State: Minnesota
During his 1984 presidential campaign, Walter Mondale promised to tell the truth. “Mr. Reagan will raise taxes, and so will I. He won’t tell you. I just did.” He was right. Reagan did go on to raise taxes. Mondale lost the election by a landslide.
41. Nelson Rockefeller: Vice Presidents with Octopuses on Their Heads
41. Nelson Rockefeller
President: Gerald Ford, 1974-1977
Party: Republican
State: New York
Nelson Rockefeller went out in style. In 1979, the 70-year-old former VP suffered a heart attack while canoodling with his 25-year-old assistant. Hoping to cover up this untoward scene, his minions delayed calling an ambulance for an hour in order to make it look like he died while reading. The ruse failed.
40. Gerald Ford: Vice Presidents with Octopuses on Their Heads
40. Gerald Ford
President: Richard M. Nixon, 1973-1974
Party: Republican
State: Michigan
Gerald Ford is the only person aside from Frank Underwood to ascend to the nation’s highest office without getting elected as either President or Vice President.
Behold! More Veeps!
The Veeptopus store. Now with more veeps. Check it out. You'll find lots of prints of your favorite cephalopod-bedecked vice president. Impress your friends and maybe that special person in your life.
39. Spiro Agnew: Vice Presidents with Octopuses on Their Heads
39. Spiro Agnew
President: Richard M. Nixon, 1969-1973
Party: Republican
State: Maryland
During his tenure, Agnew regularly attacked the press, memorably calling them the "nattering nabobs of negativism." Talk show host Dick Cavett, in return, pointed out that an anagram of Spiro Agnew’s name is “grow a penis.” In 1973, Agnew was indicted for tax evasion and became only the second VP, after John C. Calhoun, to resign from office. Ten months later, his boss Richard Nixon, resigned too.
38. Hubert H. Humphrey: Vice Presidents with Octopuses on Their Heads
38. Hubert H. Humphrey
President: Lyndon B. Johnson, 1965-1969
Party: Democrat
State: Minnesota
According to Antoly Dobrynin, the Soviet Ambassador to the States, the USSR was so worried that Richard Nixon might win the 1968 election that they secretly offered to help out the Humphrey campaign – even offering financial aid. Humphrey wisely declined the offer.
37. Lyndon B. Johnson: Vice Presidents with Octopuses on Their Heads
37. Lyndon B. Johnson
President: John F. Kennedy
Party: Democrat
State: Texas
Lyndon B. Johnson might have been a very effective legislator but he was also a spectacularly crass man. He named his penis “Jumbo" and on numerous occasions flashed it at horrified colleagues, aides and reporters while conducting meetings on the toilet.